The purpose of this lesson: to emphasize that Joseph made personal sacrifices to yield to God's purposes.
The primary way of demonstrating Christian conversion in the first-century was through behavior. Jewish people were very religious people who worshipped the correct God. They had a very unique and distinctive way of acting based on their understanding of God's commandments and values. However, even though they were extremely religious and worshipped the correct God, they were in grave need of repentance. Consider Matthew 3:1-9 and Mark 1:14, 15. John's message to the Jewish people was a message of repentance. Jesus' message to the Jewish people contained a heavy emphasis on repentance (consider Luke 15).
Stress the importance of Christian behavior. Help your students understand the difference between "joining an organization or institution" and "making a personal commitment to the Savior."
People who belong to Jesus Christ behave differently. First, there is conversion to Jesus Christ. Second, there is behavior in Jesus Christ. The immediate question for each who enters Jesus Christ is: "How should I behave?" People who come to God through Christ behave differently from people who do not belong to God. Those differences cause all of us many challenges.
Stress the difference between the willingness to convert and the commitment to behave as a person who belongs to God. Emphasize both are gravely important. Also emphasize the two are not the same. One, a person responds to Jesus Christ because he/she believes Jesus is the resurrected son of God. Two, a person in Jesus Christ learns and lives by God's values because he/she belongs to God.
Joseph, recognized as the head of Jesus' earthly family, faced that issue before Jesus was born. He was engaged to Mary. Engagements among the Jews were serious and binding. They could be broken only by a divorce (which was a simple personal process, not a court process). Though a divorce was required to break engagements, a couple was not regarded a family with intimate contact until they "came together." Marriage commonly involved a banquet or feast, the bridegroom taking the bride to his home, and sexual activity.
Read Deuteronomy 22:23-27. Joseph's options were (a) to have her publicly accused and possibly killed, (b) quietly divorce her, or (c) allow her to do her own explaining by facing the common problems of being a single mother in that society. The two that would not inflict consequences on himself were (a) and (b). Divorce then was not a court process (read Deuteronomy 24:1-4). First, divorce was a right of only the husband. Second, he must acquire a get, a small document that said simply, "I release you. You are free to marry any man." Third, he must place the get in his wife's hand with her knowledge of what the get was. Fourth, he must give it to her in the presence of witnesses. This entire process could happen with no more than five people present. Divorce was the option Joseph intended to follow prior to the vision.
Joseph became aware that his bride-to-be was pregnant, and the child was not his. Because they had not yet married, he had numerous options (see Deuteronomy 22:23, 24; Leviticus 20:10; and Deuteronomy 24:1-5). He was a righteous (just) man, and he had no desire to disgrace Mary. His decision: he would "put her away" (divorce her) secretly--spare her any public embarrassment.
Joseph intended to go on with his life without Mary, but he had no desire to humiliate Mary. That is a testament to the fact he was a considerate person.
Evidently, after Joseph decided to divorce Mary, he had a dream in which the Lord's angel (not named here) spoke to him. The angel told him not to be afraid to marry her. She had not been sexually unfaithful to him--she was a pregnant virgin because the Holy Spirit made her pregnancy occur. She would have a son who was to be named Jesus. This son would save his people from danger--the danger produced by sin. His birth would fulfill Isaiah 7:14. His presence among them would be the presence of God among them.
There is no indication such dreams were a common experience for Joseph. Yet, there is no indication that he questioned his experience was a message from God even though (a) it explained Mary's condition in an improbable way and (b) meant a reversal of his planned course of action.
Joseph trusted the message of the angel. He married Mary, and in that action he made Mary and her child legally his. However, he did not consummate the marriage until after Jesus' birth. Matthew 13:55, 56 and Mark 6:3 leave no doubt that he was intimate with Mary after Jesus' birth.
The confidence in God expressed in Joseph's action of marrying Mary is remarkable.
Joseph's challenges in placing his trust in God were distinctive from Mary's challenges. There is no desire in the following to be inappropriate, but every desire to be practical. (1) In marrying Mary and accepting her child, he opened himself to ridicule or misunderstanding. He was either: (a) "Accepting responsibility for someone else's child and a questionable woman"--to which many would say, "Stupid!" Or, (b) he was acknowledging the child was his, and he acted sexually inappropriately in a society that had high sexual values. His reputation as a "righteous" man was very much at stake. If this was the case, his detractors would say, "Stupid!"
In both (1) and (2) note accepting God's explanation and instruction in the matter of marriage involved real prices Joseph accepted and paid. He did not "take the easy way out." Doing God's will can be difficult.
(2) Their marriage would not get off to a "normal" start. There is no profession here of what they considered "normal" in a new marriage. Please read Deuteronomy 20:7; 24:5; and Proverbs 5:18. For over a thousand years, Jewish society understood something we still understand today. Early marriage is an important time of bonding for two people who have been individuals or a part of another family unit. For centuries many societies have understood that this bonding in early marriage plays a significant role in the ability of a family to endure stresses in the years ahead.
One of the prices Joseph paid in his marriage was "normalcy." God obviously did not expect Joseph to do what Joseph had decided was best for him to do. We need to be careful about deciding that God wants us to do what we want to do.
By accepting responsibility for Mary and her unborn child, Joseph was forfeiting this important time of bonding with his new wife. Things are not "normal" when a person marries a wife who is already pregnant! There is no time of adjustment for the two of them to learn how to function as a unit who depend on each other. Also, can you imagine a couple marrying and having no sexual contact with each other for months after the marriage? These things are noted only to make you realize that things were not "normal" for either Joseph or Mary. Both made significant sacrifices to function as the earthly parents of Jesus!
Encourage your students to realize Joseph paid some real prices that involved personal inconvenience to do God's will. Doing what God wants will not always be convenient.
Scripture does not say much about Joseph. Yet, he was an incredible man. His willingness to serve God's purpose at personal expense is seen (a) in his willingness to marry Mary, (b) in rearing an unusual child, and (c) in doing extraordinary things to make Jesus' life secure--like fleeing to and living in Egypt for a period of time.
It took honesty in character and godly integrity to do what Joseph did.
Joseph challenges us: How much personal inconvenience are we willing to endure to pursue God's purposes when we do not understand God's purposes? Are we willing to endure the "abnormal" on a continuing basis to yield to God's will?
Encourage your students to see that Joseph challenges our character and integrity. We are still blessed because he was a man of godly character and integrity.
For Thought and Discussion
It was (is) through behavior.
It was based on their understanding of God's commands and values. Still, they were in need of repentance.
They behave differently than people who do not belong to God. That often challenges us.
The discussion should include the fact that engagements would be broken only by divorce.
He made her and her child legitimate. He assumed responsibility for them and recognized them as his own family.
He did not have a sexual relationship with Mary.
He opened himself to ridicule and misunderstanding.
The discussion should include the concept of "bonding."
He forfeited the important time in early marriage for bonding.
He asks us, "How much personal inconvenience are you willing to endure to pursue God's purposes when we may not even understand God's purposes?"
Link to Student Guide
Lesson 3