We polled our 7-12th graders and asked them to write down the top three things that cause them the most stress in their lives.

The following are the responses we received from our 7-9th graders:

#1 Answer - Friends and Peer Pressure
This was listed 24 times with 24 teens taking the survey.
*Note- This was listed in one form or another more than once by many.

#2 Answer - School

This was listed 16 times with 24 teens taking the survey.

#3 Answer - Family

This was listed 15 times with 24 teens taking the survey.
*Note- This is different from the High School students who specifically listed "Parents." Family and situations in the family were mentioned by our Junior High teens.

The following comments were made in regard to the three most common reasons given for stress among our 7-9th graders:

#1 STRESS - Friends and Peer Pressure

• "Peer pressure- they have you do things you do not want to do."
• "Drugs- because people want you to do it and say how good it feels."
• "Sex- because your friends do it and the person you are dating wants to."
• "Peer pressure and pressure to have sex."
• "Pressure to do things that aren't right."
• "Pressure to use bad language all of the time."
• "All kinds of pressure from my friends."
• "Hurting my friends with what I say."
• "Using bad language."
• "Doing things I don't want to do."
• "Struggling to do things that I know are right."
• "Being an individual, not doing what everyone else does."
• "Acting like I should when I'm around non-Christians."
• "Doing what is right."
• "Sex."
• "Peer Pressure."
• "Trying to figure out (with all of the different influences) if I'm really heading in the right direction."

#2 STRESS - School

• "Tests stress me out."
• "Moving and going to new schools."
• "Studying for school."
• "School work."
• "School and tests."
• "School - grades, tests, etc."
• "Grades in school."
• "Tests."
• "Homework that's due the next day."

#3 STRESS - Family

• "My home life and my brothers and sisters."
• "My parents are always fighting."
• "Getting along with my step-mom."
• "My family."
• "My little brother."
• "I'm always fighting with my brother."
• "Getting along with my parents."
• "My sister."
• "My brother."
• "My parents." (This was listed 6 times.)
• "My family."

The following are the responses we received from our 10-12th graders:

#1 Answer - Parents
This was listed 23 times with 23 teens taking the survey.
*Note- Two teens listed "parents" as #1, #2, and #3.

#2 Answer - Relationships/Peer Pressure

This was listed 14 times with 23 teens taking the survey.

#3 Answer - School

This was listed 13 times with 23 teens taking the survey.
*Note- One teen listed school as #1, #2, and #3.

The following comments were made in regard to the three most common reasons given for stress among our 10-12th graders:

#1 STRESS - Parents

• "They make me feel like I always have to please them."
• "They are always asking questions."
• "My mom puts way too much pressure on me."
• "My parents expect me to be just like my siblings (grades, talking to them)."
• "My parents are pressuring me to look at colleges right now and it's causing too much friction"
• "Parents- trying to agree with them- curfew, etc."
• "My parents give me no freedom. They try to control every part of my life."
• "My parents expect me to do everything like my brother. Examples- grades, accomplishments, awards, etc."
• "My mom is always on my case about what's going on with my life. I want to keep a lot of it to myself."
• "The enormous pressure they put on me to succeed."

#2 STRESS - Relationships and Peer Pressure

• "Worrying about the future- college, marriage, family, and a job"
• "Friends and acquaintances counting on you to be there when you have no time for yourself."
• "Trying to do what you know is right but you and your friends want to do what is wrong. Dealing with the consequences of doing what is wrong."
• "Dealing with people who start rumors and pick on my friends."
• "Having to spend enough time with everyone to make everyone happy."
• "Trying to please everyone."
• "Peer pressure- trying to say no to things that I know are bad."
• "Friends- pleasing them and having patience with them."
• "Alcohol and sex"

#3 STRESS - School

• "School, School, School"
• "Trying to live up to my parents expectations for my grades."
• "Keeping my grades up"
• "School-teachers-school work"
• "Tests and grades"
• "Putting off my school work till the last minute because of so many other expectations"
• "Tests"
• "Getting into college (taking the ACT and making good scores)."
• "Deciding what college I am going to and what I am going to do."
• "School- reports, friends, and my schedule"

There was a total of 47 teens who took the stress poll and I found the results "eye opening." If you are a parent of a 7-12th grader, you really need to take the time to consider our teens' answers and comments. Hopefully, this information will help all of us better understand each other and lead to closer relationships in the home.

Brad Pistole, youth minister
West-Ark Church of Christ, Fort Smith, AR
June 1998

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